Thursday, 17 November 2016

Kweeny's Dream Loot Crate: The Kweenybeast Box

Recently the people at Loot Crate contacted me about helping to create content on my site for my ideal loot crate. A box full of stuff that would make Kweeny Todd squee with delight upon receiving in the mail! And I do love getting mail as it is. Subscription boxes do seem like getting a birthday present every month.

So what kind of box would I create? Hang on to your seats monsterkids! Here's my picks for a Loot Crate full of Kweeny's favorite nerd treats! I all this crate The Kweenybeast Box!


First off, my box would have something Deadpool in it. I know he's super popular. Especially after they did an awesome job with his movie. But I have loved Deadpool since I found him in comics as a kid. He's insane, can't die, has a romance with death herself, has multiple perosnalities, is in constant, horrific pain, and is hilarious! Not to mention he;s Canadian, and I love Wolverine and all, but Deadpool has a sense of humor about everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. So that's why I need a little Deadpool in my box.

I'm also a bit of a Harry Potter nerd, so something from my house would be nice. And my house is Slytherin! It's not as popular as houses like Gryfindor, but we are not a house to be ignored. Not all Slytherin are evil, but being that close to the dark side of magic means it's easier to be tempted by it. So I would want something in my box to represent my Slytherin pride.

Now let's delve deeper into the darkness and bring out monsters! One of my favorite monsters is in the movie Aliens. That movie was action packed and intense, especially when Riply faces down the Queen Alien! So a cute little plush alien or something like it would be really cool in this box. Cute and monstrous, just like me!

My next choice to add to our box of freaks and monsters, is from my favorite movie of all time: Repo! The Genetic Opera! I have to have something from this show in here. I know it might be harder to get a handle on, but I would take anything! A piece of art signed, the soundtrack, I just want something from this wonderfully outrageous show! More people need to know about it.


Of course I need something werewolf related! I am a child of the moon, and I'm known as the Sexy Werewitch on my podcast: Archivists Bet On Sexy Witches.  So something werewolf related from the long history of horror and werewolves is good by me! You could get really creative too. Like werewolf magnets, mittens, etc. Extra points if they put something from Ginger Snaps in there, like a shirt.


And lastly, I know I need something from Hellraiser in there. If they put this puzzle box in there, I would be super ecstatic! Hellraiser is one of my favorite horror movies ever, and it helped shape a lot of my personality growing up. Pinhead and his crew haunted my young dreams for years. This will be a prize that will tear my soul apart!


Hopefully this gives you ideas for your own subscription box! Loot Crate is pretty wonderful and constantly trying to up their quality of merch they send you. If you are interested in checking out Loot Crate for yourself, here ya go: Loot Crate. If you are interested in the Kweenybeast Crate, you can let Loot Crate know.

Wednesday, 12 October 2016

Kweeny Visits The H.P. LOVECRAFT FILM FESTIVAL!

One of the awesome things that happens during the month of October is Portland's H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival! This weekend was my second time attending the fest. My friends and I had the intention of seeing all the features this year as last year we did all the shorts. We did see quite a few, but our experience was sadly cut short due to one of my friends slipping in the theater and hurting herself. Ouch! I told her she should stop wrestling shogoths in the bathroom. ;)


As for the fest itself, I will give you a description of what I did get to experience:

One of the things about the festival that I love is all the vendors. They are all really weird and interesting, with a lot of strange oddities about. You can find everything from H.P. Lovecraft inspired comix, monster jewelry and oddities, make up, leather and metal work, and of course, tentacled wonders. There is everything a good cultist could ever want to spend money on.


I watched a few features, one being the Q & A with Stuart Gordon, director of the classic From Beyond! We even got to see a cut of the film that hasn't been seen before! I loved being in a crowd of fellow nerds laughing at From Beyond and all the over-the-top cheese! There is something rewarding about watching a movie on the big screen. It's more of a group experience then a personal one. "Every time I come to this festival I learn a little more about Lovecraft." Stuart Gordon said during the Q & A, "I think Lovecraft is inherently funny. Hence my little call backs like 666 on the door and Benevolent St. The 1980's was a good time for horror movies. Horror films thrive when you have a Republican president."

Listening to him speak was a treat. I love listening to filmmakers talk. And I think Stuart Gordon was a kind, funny man who was very down to earth. check out his work and you'll find a legend underappreciated.

One of the other films I saw and liked was The Creature Below. It was a cool take on Lovecraft, with a lady who goes deep sea diving and comes back with something from the depths. It was a very entertaining film, and the main character was really creepy near the end.

Another film I saw was Downhill. I almost liked this one, but they had some annoying shaky cam bits, and I think they left us with too many unanswered questions. A little more fleshing out of the script might have helped made this story more solid. There is a fine line between mystery building and just being too vague.

I have a whole list of films I wanted to see, like Badass Monster Killer (doesn't the name alone tell you how cool a exploitation Lovecraft film could be?), and animated film called Howard Lovecraft and the Frozen Kingdom, and lastly, The Unkindness of Ravens. I'm sad I missed these films!

There were other event's too! I didn't get to any of them due to time constraints and the accident, but there were fun things like game demo's, meet and greet's with the filmmakers, author signings, audio drama's, costuming Lovecraft, and so much more! I would have loved to go to more things. Maybe next year I will.


Once again the festival won my heart and made me feel like I was not just a film goer, but a part of a weird little family of fellow Lovecraft nerds! Even while standing in line I made friends, talking to people who share a passion. Portland tends to have some of the greatest and kindest horror nerds you'll ever meet. I'm hoping Seattle will grow more of their horror community so I can feel more at home here. It's likely I just know more about the Portland scene.

UNTIL NEXT YEAR CULTISTS! Check out the site and see what cool stuff we were up to this year: http://hplfilmfestival.com/hplfilmfestival-portland-or

Sunday, 2 October 2016

KWEENY REVIEWS: Killer Party and talks HHMMM!

Once again the moon is full, the month is October, and I have crawled out of my putrid grave to celebrate! And I'm thinking, let's start off this month of MADNESS with a movie review!

For those of you unawares, I spend the month of October doing a crazy movie watching contest called HALLOWEEN HORROR MOVIE MARATHON MADNESS, or MADNESS for short. It's a Facebook group that is full of nerds like me, who like to use October as an excuse to marathon the shit out of every horror or Halloween themed movie in existence! My team is called Team Killing Joke, after one of my favorite Joker stories. There's a lot of cool events and teams this year, and our theme for movie watching is:


So when I got emailed to do a review of the movie KILLER PARTY, it seemed almost like destiny that I wait and review it at the start of the Horror Marathon! Bring on the crazy clown! *honk*


Killer Party is about a bunch of acting friends get together for a baby shower. Little do they know, this baby shower will turn into a fight for their lives! When some weird phenomenon makes people go completely bonkers, (not quite a zombie outbreak, because people who get sick retain all their normal functions. Which makes them a little scary.) these quirky friends try to survive and find a way out.

It's a simple set up, nothing that hasn't been done before. Except the clown from the party gets sick. And then some of their neighbors. And then some of their friends. The shenanigans the group gets up to doing things like look for food is some funny shit! I laughed so hard during some scenes, but I don't want to spoil it and tell you too many details...


Another thing I loves was the failed actors group. Each one had a unique character they brought to the group, even the ones that seemed like assholes. If they were amateur actors for real, I don't know. But I do think they gave convincing performances. So many times when I watch indie films the acting is th first to go. Glad to say this isn't the case here. I think people just had fun shooting this film, and it comes out. It's not filmed in a special way, but it's decent cinematography. Each character felt like they had a good moment, and a reason to be there. and I have to applaud Mary (Played by Rachael Dummond) for being actually pregnant on set! That belly is real folks! The clown is probably my other favorite character. Just pure evil in bright colors. Does the clown get his comeuppance? Check out Killer Party and find out!


My final verdict is this is one to watch. It's funny, sincere, a little goofy, and somethings unnerving. Need another clown movie to get you full points during the HHMMM? Look for this one.

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